tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75680182024-03-07T05:54:43.271-08:00Ask eFatlady!Jennifer Semple Siegel, a.k.a. as eFatlady, embraces non-dieting and hara hachi bu (80% full) as important life changes. She invites her readers to share in her journey and post their comments and stories on this blog.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7568018.post-89696175032075095832008-03-06T15:45:00.000-08:002008-03-06T15:48:33.828-08:00Off-topic: Supporting Hillary Rodham Clinton<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ1khrd91Ta-_unJva3yb_wUpBXoj8ChVcaYQLTJQq6N4sH6e7yZr69rGJwyEjN2ZGsNStaq7WHOedoSNAxNEzASMoHA879MpBb3Fc0bGoCiT8LoAkpH259AOIlus8QnpfUNP6yQ/s1600-h/HillaryRodhamClintonPosterWater.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ1khrd91Ta-_unJva3yb_wUpBXoj8ChVcaYQLTJQq6N4sH6e7yZr69rGJwyEjN2ZGsNStaq7WHOedoSNAxNEzASMoHA879MpBb3Fc0bGoCiT8LoAkpH259AOIlus8QnpfUNP6yQ/s400/HillaryRodhamClintonPosterWater.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5174717731539539346" /></a><br />As a Pennsylvania resident, I have decided to support Hillary Clinton.<br /><br />I am NOT adamantly <em>against</em> Barack Obama, and if he is ultimately selected as the Democratic candidate, I will support him fully and enthusiastically. I like him, but I just feel it's Hillary's time.<br /><br />To back up my support, I have set up a Hillary Clinton website: <strong><a href="http://www.presidenthc.com/"><span style="color:#000099;">PresidentHC.com</span></a></strong>.<br /><br />I hope to recruit 100 blog team members (explained on the site). I am not asking for money, nor will there be any advertising on this site. This is purely a grassroots effort. If you are interested, feel free to visit this site. It's still pretty much under construction, but I plan to work on it this weekend (along with updating the war dead for February on my <a href="http://www.itsjustwar.com/"><strong><span style="color:#000099;">It's JUST War!</span></strong></a> site).<br /><br />If you're supporting Obama as the Democratic candidate, that's okay. I respect your right to support whoever you wish. But if you're on the fence, check out the site, and come back often.<br /><br />From <strong><a href="http://www.presidenthc.com/"><span style="color:#000099;">PresidentHC.com</span></a></strong>:<br /><br /><em><span style="color:#006600;"><strong>I am a registered Independent and have been for years.<br /><br />I have decided to re-register as a Democrat; for me this is a momentous decision because I have prided myself on my lack of party affiliation, my free-wheeling political independence.<br /><br />However, Pennsylvania may very well decide the Presidential Democratic primary, and, ultimately, the presidency. I would be very upset with myself if Hillary lost a delegate by one vote, so I'm doing something about it now.<br /><br />If you live in Pennsylvania (or any other closed-election state that hasn't yet held its primary or caucus), please think about the difference you could make by changing your party affiliation.<br /><br />I have downloaded the proper forms and printed them out; I will be filling them out TODAY.</strong> </span></em><br /><br />Best,<br /><br />Jennifer<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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Eventually, the condition can result in Type 2 diabetes.<br /><br />Fortunately, my condition was diagnosed before I developed diabetes.<br /><br />My doctor placed me on a low carb diet, based on the <a href="http://www.proteinpower.com/index.php"><strong>Protein Power</strong></a> diet, which I have <em>mostly</em> been following since December 2006. I say "mostly," because I have had my bad days, though not that many. I just chalk it up to being human and move on; I am able to do this because this dietary change has turned out to be the right one <em>for me</em>, so I'm able to go back to eating normally without a lot of guilt and without the fear that I have "forever fallen off the food cart."<br /><br />This is not a sales pitch (I have nothing to sell); I'm a firm believer in the concept that our bodies are unique and metabolize nutrients in unique ways.<br /><br />Having said that, I suspect that insulin resistance and Syndrome X people are vastly under diagnosed, though, for the past year, the media have covered the condition fairly well, and the low carb diet as a medical tool (as opposed to just another weight loss diet) has become more mainstream.<br /><br />Syndrome X people tend to be overweight or obese (well, that covers about one-third of the general U.S. population), but X people tend to carry much of their weight around the middle. In fact, <a href="http://syndromexassoc.org/centralobesity.asp"><strong>women with a waist measurement more than 35 inches around and men, 40 inches</strong></a> are particularly at risk.<br /><br />Other signs and symptoms of Syndrome X:<br /><ul><li><a href="http://syndromexassoc.org/acanthosisnigricans.asp"><strong>Dark patches and/or discoloration of skin</strong></a>*</li><li>Blurred vision</li><li><a href="http://syndromexassoc.org/CoronaryHeartDisease.asp"><strong>Coronary Heart Disease</strong></a></li><li><a href="http://syndromexassoc.org/Depression.asp"><strong>Depression</strong></a>**</li><li>Difficulty losing weight***</li><li>Elevated Triglycerides</li><li><a href="http://syndromexassoc.org/irandfatigue.asp"><strong>Fatigue</strong></a>*</li><li>Heart Palpitations* </li><li>High Cholesterol</li><li>Hormonal disturbances</li><li><a href="http://syndromexassoc.org/Hypertension.asp"><strong>Hypertension</strong></a></li><li><a href="http://www.webmd.com/hw-popup/Insulin-resistance-19198"><strong>Insulin resistance</strong></a>*</li><li>Memory problems*</li><li>Peripheral Neuropathy</li><li><strong><a href="http://syndromexassoc.org/pcosandir.asp">Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome</a></strong></li><li><a href="http://syndromexassoc.org/irandskintags.asp"><strong>Skin Tags</strong></a>*</li><li><a href="http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/Sleep-Apnea/sleep-apnea"><strong>Sleep Apnea</strong></a></li><li><a href="http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/complications"><strong>Uncontrolled Diabetes</strong></a></li></ul><p>The starred areas denote my symptoms, most of which could have been explained away by other causes, but my difficulty losing weight and inability to keep it off have always stumped me. For most of my life, I have been on the diet merry-go-round: go on a diet, stick to it for a few months, lose some weight, fall off the diet in a big way, binge for the next two years or so, gain all of my weight back (and then some), go on a diet--well, you get the point.</p><p>Insulin resistant people tend to ride this wild merry-go-round, mostly because their doctors and diet programs put them on the <em>wrong</em> diet: a low fat, low protein, and high carb diet, which, in fact, exacerbates the problem and hoodwinks the body into thinking it's starving. The appestat cranks up, and like our need for sleep, the body sends out a powerful signal to eat, eat, and eat, even in the face of evidence that we don't need more food. Hunger is a difficult signal to ignore and has nothing to do with "will power."</p><p>Instead, insulin resistant people should be eating a low carb, higher fat, and high protein diet, something similar to the <strong><a href="http://www.proteinpower.com/">Protein Power</a></strong> diet, although one's doctor should be the person who decides what is best for his/her patient. </p><p>Nine months ago, I went on the strictest version of PP diet, but I eventually discovered (through trial and error) that if I <em>occasionally</em> eat 15 or even 20 grams of carb at one time, I'm okay, and seem to stay within my dietary guidelines. But if I pig out on carbs, my body tells me, "whoa": I get extremely groggy and somewhat depressed, and I just have to sleep it off and start a new day. </p><p>Last December, I was desperate and went to a diet clinic to discuss the possibility of a gastric bypass surgery, although I realized that I probably would not qualify (I was "only" 70 pounds overweight). I wanted to do something before my weight climbed to the point where it could kill me. Instead, I was put on just another diet (so I thought).</p><p>I had tried high protein diets before, but always fell off because I <em>prefer</em> carbs over protein and thought I <em>should</em> work within my preferences. Also, high protein diets <em>are </em>difficult to start; it took my body a good three months to adjust, and most people stop before that. My doctor and husband encouraged me to stick it out and give the new dietary change a chance to work.</p><p>Well, for me, the high protein/low carb diet works; I haven't lost weight fast. In fact, weight loss has been strictly secondary. I wanted a life diet that worked for the long haul and didn't leave me hungry all the time.</p><p>Do I miss some of my favorite foods? Of course, but I don't <em>crave</em> them like I once did because I allow myself an occasional treat. Also, I have discovered some "new" favorites that have replaced the old high carbs, such as sunflower seeds (in the shell) in place of buttered popcorn. The calorie count is about the same, but sunflower seeds don't kick in that insulin spike.</p><p>Some trial and error discoveries:</p><ul><li>For a treat, eat an occasional favorite high carb and/or sugary food.</li><li>Never try to make up for a binge by depriving yourself later. That tactic almost never works (at least for me). The next day, begin eating as you normally do.</li><li>Don't starve. Always eat when you're hungry. Some days I'm hungrier than other days, and it does no good to ignore those bodily signals. When one truly listens to one's body, one will rarely go wrong.</li><li>Never compare your weight loss with someone else's; everyone loses at different speeds. I always cringe at those competitive weight loss TV programs because our bodies are programmed to deal with metabolism, food intake/outtake, and exercise differently.</li><li>Tough out those plateaus; they are inevitable, but eventually, the weight comes off. I tend to lose in a "stair step" fashion. I'll stay the same for a month or more, and then 5-7 pounds will slide right off.</li><li>Make good health your first priority, weight loss secondary.</li></ul><p>My weight loss progress has been satisfying but not fast: about 40 pounds since December; I have about 30 pounds to go, but I'm taking it slow and easy. Although I'm still overweight, I feel comfortable in my own skin. I have no compelling reason to lose weight for a certain event or in a certain time frame--I'm in this for the rest of my life!</p><p>I'm trusting that if I treat my body well, I should trust that it will treat me well for years to come.</p><p>Best, Jennifer </p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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This month, I discovered that I can be confronted, day after day, with huge buffets (three times a day) and still make good food choices. I actually lost weight during my working vacation! I didn't try to be "perfect," but I did avoid the noodles, starchy vegetables, and high carb desserts. I focused on protein, salads, nuts, sunflower seeds in the shell and shelled, low carb dark chocolate (which I brought with me--yes! it does exist!).<br /><br />Here is what I have discovered about this life change:<br /><ol><li><em>MOST IMPORTANT</em>: I have ditched my "black and white" thinking. If I over-carb, I don't see it as an excuse to torpedo my entire lifestyle change. I <em>occasionally</em> eat a "forbidden" treat. The Protein Power people call these "Honey Tree Days." Occasional treats don't seem to have a major impact on my insulin levels. <em>Paradox</em>: I rarely take Honey Tree Days. About two months ago, I ate the filling out of a slice of pecan pie (left the crust, though)--I haven't really felt the need to indulge. I'm not sure why this is. </li><li>I now eat to live, not live to eat. More on this later.</li><li>My internal appestat monitor actually works now; this is totally new to me. In diets past, I was always hungry, especially at night--I just fought it through sheer will power, but, eventually, physiology wins. Long term, one can't fight one of the the body's most basic urges, even when it's out of whack. </li><li>Which brings me to this realization: Syndrome X people are extremely strong-willed. Thin people who have never experienced chronic hunger (via dieting) will never know the effort it takes to go on a diet and sustain it for six months or even a year, while constantly fighting chronic hunger. So I'd like to dispel the myth that heavy people are weak willed because it simply isn't true. </li><li>For the most part (still working on this), I don't allow myself to get overly hungry. I eat until I'm about 80% full; if, after 20 minutes, I'm still hungry, I eat some cheese or meat (which is essentially a "free" food). True hunger is your body's way of telling you that you need to feed it something more, albeit healthy.</li><li>I don't skip meals; if I happen to get up late and eat breakfast at noon, the third meal may end up being a heftier snack, but I eat at regular intervals. I don't "tough it out" until next meal or snack. I eat when I need to eat. </li><li>Some days, I'm hungrier than other days; I go with these hungry days and try not to fear them. Typically, I'll feel like eating less the next day. In the long run, hunger seems to even out.</li><li>For a lifestyle change, weight loss should never be the primary goal (unless one needs to lose fast for some kind of medical reason). To lose weight for a boyfriend, wedding, or prom is bound to set someone up for long-term failure.</li><li>This kind of lifestyle change requires a huge commitment, one that I didn't think I could do long term, that is, until about three months ago, when it all started making sense.</li><li>I get to eat bacon and other fatty meats. And I do enjoy these foods, but here's the paradox: Syndrome X people tend NOT to overeat on protein. We may lack (due to high insulin levels) an adequate appestat control over carbs, but look around all-you-can-eat buffets. Most heavy people will pile on the carbs (I sure did!).</li><li>Another paradox: despite the fattier diet, my cholesterol dropped 18 points, my bad cholesterol dropped, and my good numbers settled right into the perfect range.</li><li>I no longer get hungry at night. Low fat and high carb diets = night hunger (at least for me). My evening snack = sunflower seeds in the shell and/or a carb smart ice cream bar (sugarless). I go to bed with a happy tummy.</li><li>I no longer need to keep a food diary; in fact, doing so causes me to begin lapsing back into black and white thinking and then focusing on counting carbs, calories, proteins. By now, my body knows what I need. My body <em>tells</em> me when I have had too many carbs.</li><li>I do weigh regularly, just to make sure that I'm not kidding myself.</li><li>On a day-to-day basis, certain foods no longer exist for me. I don't think about them, and I ignore them as I walk past them. I don't "yearn" for what I can't have but I do wholeheartedly embrace what I can have. If someone tries pushing something on me that I don't want, I tell them that I need to keep my insulin levels down. Usually that works; everyone understands a medical diet.</li><li>Eating out is fairly simple--no need to special order meat or fish. Just avoid the coatings, breads, potatoes, rice, desserts, etc. and go for salads and green vegetables. Buffets are the best because I can get <em>exactly</em> what I need, and most of them are set up in such a way that it's easy to avoid the sweets. </li><li>Writing about this lifestyle change is somewhat difficult because in my day-to-day life, I don't think much about these issues anymore. I have had to dig back and actually analyze what makes this lifestyle change work so well for me when others have failed me so abysmally. And that is a good thing. </li></ol><p>This brings me back to number 2: "I eat to live, not live to eat."</p><p>I never thought I would say and mean this, but it's now true. </p><p>Think back to grade school. You remember that skinny kid who would dash home for lunch, gulp down a few bites of sandwich and soup, and run back outside to play? Eating for him or her was simply a bother, something that Mom made him/her do. She always had more pressing things to do, like ride bikes, play baseball, go swimming. At Halloween or Easter, her mother ended up throwing away half her candy because she never finished it. I never understood that kid, but I envied her ability to focus on other activities and forget about eating. For me, eating was always a burden, a monkey on my back, and always on my mind or in the back of my mind.</p><p>About three months into this lifestyle change, I began to realize that I was becoming that annoying kid (albeit 40-some years later). Desires for other activities began to take the place of recreational eating. I taught four college literature courses. My writing production increased; I finished revising my memoir and started two new books. Now when I wake up in the morning, my first thought is, "What can I write or do today?" and not "What's for breakfast?"</p><p>This major change, my dear readers (however many you are), is my real success story. I'm now able to focus on other aspects of my life. </p><p>At this point, weight loss is secondary--I'm just along for the ride. </p><p><span style="font-size:180%;"><strong>;=) </strong></span></p>Next post, I'll discuss some products that I have found helpful. I'm not a spokesperson (paid or otherwise) for any of these products, just that I have found these to be helpful, especially in the first few rocky months.<br /><br />Best to all,<br /><br />Jennifer Semple Siegel<br />a.k.a <span style="color:#006600;"><strong>e-fatlady</strong></span><br /><br /><div align="center">____________________________________________</div><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Disclaimer: This blog reflects my experience and may not be right for you. You may or may not be experiencing Syndrome X; only your doctor can diagnose this condition.</span></em><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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That when dieters deny themselves delicious and full-fat foods, they are fighting an innate and ingrained biological drive designed to help the human race survive--a battle dieters are not likely to win.<br /><br />So if a potential dieter wants to lose a few pounds, forget about it, accept one’s fatness, and move on, right?<br /><br />Maybe not.<br /><br />Moran, owner of the Yahoo! Dietsurvivors: Non-dieting for Intellectuals Health Group <a href="http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/dietsurvivors/">http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/dietsurvivors/</a> offers an alternative to dieting: intuitive eating.<br /><br />In the chapter "How Children Eat," Moran asks the reader to observe children at the table: intuitively, they eat when they’re hungry and stop when they’re satisfied. They’ll leave a cookie on their plates without feeling guilty about starving children in some third world country. Moran says that former dieters can train themselves to eat like children, to enjoy what they really want of that cookie and throw the rest away, without feeling deprivation or guilt.<br /><br />In a dispassionate tone, the author analyzes some of the currently popular diets and discusses the pros and cons of each program. She never tells the reader to forego all diets. Indeed, in her introduction, Moran says,<br /><blockquote>I’m not saying, ‘Don’t diet.’ Rather a diet is a lion to be tamed by you.</blockquote><br />Too often, the diet becomes the Truth, an all-or-nothing proposition resulting in black and white thinking.<br /><br />Moran concedes that diets do work for a few dieters, but emphasizes that "a diet works best if the dieter doesn’t take it too seriously." In other words, a diet should not be worshiped as the "god" of the moment, but, rather, be used as a tool for helping the dieter make effective and sustainable life change.<br /><br /><p>The author questions conventional dieting wisdom and proposes some seemingly paradoxical ideas for consideration:</p><ul><li>Weight-loss diets can actually promote greed</li><li>All foods should be "legalized"</li><li>One should give into food cravings</li><li>One does not need to exercise to lose weight</li><li>Stress can be positive</li><li>Small portions of delicious food will satisfy</li><li>Naturally thin people are not immune to serious food issues</li></ul><p>Moran does NOT</p><ul><li>Include recipes</li><li>Offer any calorie-counting programs</li><li>Tell readers to eat specific foods</li><li>Scold</li></ul><p>Moran doesn’t claim that the work of intuitive eating will be easy, recognizing that it takes time to unlearn old diet rules and incorporate new thinking. Furthermore, she offers her own story only to establish her credibility and to show her own path to eating enlightenment, not to impose new rules on the reader. </p><p>Most importantly, the author respects the intellect of the reader. In her conclusion, Moran says,</p><blockquote><p>This book is not about rules, but about your thinking. My suggestions may or may not work for you. It’s more important that you take ownership of your eating, learn to apply reasonableness as a standard instead of calorie counts or scale numbers, and start to use your own judgment about the advice you hear. Especially, you might find suspect anything that sounds too black and white.</p></blockquote><p>The author does not claim to have all the answers, which, in my opinion, strengthens her credibility and establishes her as a true pioneer in the weight management industry.</p><p>Doctors and psychologists might do well to give their patients a copy of Moran’s book.</p><p>________________</p><p>ISBN 0-9749396-0-9</p><p>Available from <a href="http://www.betterwaypress.com">www.betterwaypress.com</a> or <a href="http://www.Amazon.com">www.Amazon.com</a> </p><p align="right">--<em>Review by Jennifer Semple Siegel</em></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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To be honest, sometimes I just can't tell when I'm 80% full, so I have to determine the fullness factor by eyeballin' my food in advance. Incorporate <em>hara hachi bu</em> as a best-guess factor. Unfortunately, the fixed portion method does not take into consideration the human and environmental factors, the reality that, like the weather, our bodily needs change day-to-day. But, for now, this is the best I can do.<br /><br />In the past few days, I have noticed a sharp increase in hunger pangs, and hunger happening at odd hours: in middle of the night and upon awakening. This is most definitely an unusual pattern for me, a confirmed breakfast skipper. Also, I may have had a lot of bad eating habits, but eating in the middle of the night has never been a part of my <em>modus operandi.</em> My appestat works well at certain times: the early a.m., specifically. My danger time seems to fall between 5:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m. My "hunger" tends to fall off after 10 or so, even when I don't give in and eat.<br /><br />I take this current deviation as a sign that I need to eat a little more, even if I gain some weight. I have just finished reading Linda Moran's <em>How to Survive Your Diet: And Conquer Your Food Issues Forever</em>. She offers what I think is a revolutionary concept that flies in the face of conventional dieting "wisdom": that it's okay to fluctuate slightly in terms of weight loss and gain--that we have to give our bodies what they need, thus sacrificing instant gratification in terms of weight loss, rapid or otherwise. But we have to give ourselves permission to accept this without feeling guilty (the toughest part).<br /><br />So I'm eating more food. Not a lot--this isn't a feast or famine situation, just a solution to a potential problem. This is the time when most of my diets derail: my body, in a semi-state of starvation, cries out for more sustenance, and I would ignore its plea, until I could no longer ignore its cries for help. Then I would spiral out of control and embark on a binge, sometimes lasting months, even years.<br /><br />My body would always impose its will, exact its revenge.<br /><br />Well, no more. I'm not on a diet; I'm on an UnDiet, a lifetime endeavor, so I would be remiss in not listening to my body's needs.<br /><br />In terms of hunger, our bodies seem to follow the seasons. It's extremely cold right now, and it's chilly in our drafty house, so my body (hot flashes notwithstanding) has to work harder to stay warm. Conversely, when it's hot, my hunger levels off. So it's time to listen to those variations in cues. If I were a "natural" thin person, I would instinctively do this, but I'm not, so I have to compensate and make a conscious effort to tune in what my body is telling me.<br /><br />However, when you're overweight and wanting to lose excess weight, it's discombobulating to systematically incorporate more food. It's counterintuitive to what everyone "knows" about the input/output model of eating. Sigh. Were it so simple...<br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Eyeballin' </span></strong><br /><br />Eyeballin'. I love this word--it sounds so casual, almost flirty. I think it has originated with one of those sexist he-man 70's movies, referring to predatory men checking out sexy women. But I have also seen it as a term for estimating portions, perhaps on Dietsurvivors, maybe elsewhere. The point is: I didn't come up with the word, but, just the same, I have hijacked it for my own purposes.<br /><br />One positive side effect of my dieting years: I'm good at eyeballin' portions. I can take a hunk of hamburger, eyeball it, and guess its weight within a few grams. So that's what I've been doing. It feels right and natural--second nature. In that sense, dieting has ingrained in me a concept of portion control. I can make that skill work for me.<br /><br />I don't particularly buy into the popular non-dieting practice of "leaving food on my plate," especially when I'm the one who has already eyeballed portions in advance. For an UnDieter, leaving portioned food behind seems too artificial and obsessive.<br /><br />Two exceptions: (1) In the rare instances when I can actually feel "80%-full" kicking in, and (2) eating food away from home when I haven't eyeballed my food in advance. Then leaving food behind makes sense. It's a way of re-exerting some control in an environment where we have relinquished a significant amount of control.<br /><br />Re: restaurants: I like the idea of requesting a to-go box <em>before</em> my meal arrives. That way, I can eyeball my food before digging in and put away what I don't need. Out of sight, out of mind (mostly). Which brings me to the next topic on my mind:<br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Greed-Gluttony</span></strong><br /><br />Portions served in American restaurants are super-sized--no secret there--but we don't need to feel helpless and greedy before the bacchanalian altar of indulgence. We <em>can</em> make choices in how much food and drink we wish to consume: supersized, medium, or small portions.<br /><br />Restaurants are only too happy to serve up mega-portions. For example, last night, my husband Jerry had to attend a school obligation which involved going out to eat. Having a night class, he didn't have time to finish his meal past the soup, so he brought the rest home in a go-box. I don't normally go into details about calories and such, but what Jerry ate and brought home tells the all-American story of mega-portions (eyeballed calories):<br /><ul><li>Potato leek soup, 150 calories </li><li>6-ounce Chicken breast with cheese, 300 calories</li><li>Large oblong roll, 400 calories</li><li>French fries, 240 calories</li><li>Garnish: 2 small pieces of ham, drizzled with cheese, 150 calories</li><li>Fats, 150 calories (mayo, butter, etc.)</li></ul><p align="center"><strong>Estimated total calories: 1,390!</strong> </p><p align="left">For one person at one meal. Americans <em>expect</em> to receive these huge amounts--our appetites have been <em>trained</em> to accept these large portions.</p><p align="left">But months of adjusting my portions have trained my eye to view the above meal as outrageously gluttonous. </p><p align="left">My first irrational reaction to the leftovers: ILLEGAL FOOD!</p><p align="left">My second irrational reaction: YOU CAN'T EAT THAT!</p><p align="left">My third irrational reaction: THROW IT OUT!</p><p align="left">My sensible reaction: NO LAW SAYS YOU CAN'T EAT THAT FOOD! </p><p align="left">So for lunch today, Jerry and I split the food (minus the soup, and, for me, only one-fourth of the roll); it <em>was</em> delicious, and I don't feel sick or guilty. This was a time that <em>hara hachi bu</em> actually kicked in, and, basing my decision on true fullness, I left part of my bread and chicken and ate it later.</p><p align="left">I'm not trying to be sanctimonious here--I'm saying that with some hard work and difficult decision making, we can train our eyes and our bodies to make sensible choices. We can't expect the food industry to do that for us.</p><p align="left">For very little expense, restaurants increase the portions they serve, thus advertising a "good value." It's a fiction, of course, helping their bottom line (excuse the intentional pun) but harming <em>ours</em>. Does it make sense for us to clean our restaurant plates and have to pay Weight Watchers, Optifast, SlimFast, Nutrisystem, etc. so that we can take off the weight we have gained?</p>Linda Moran uses the word "greed" in conjunction with overeating. I grew up a Catholic and had to memorize the Seven Capital (or Deadly) Sins: Lust, Greed, Envy, Pride, Covetousness, Anger, Sloth, and Gluttony. Interesting that the Church would have two words for (basically) the same sin, but "Gluttony" seems to cover overeating and overdrinking specifically.<br /><br />I prefer Linda's use of "greed," because her reference covers more than just food. She views "greed" as extending beyond food overindulgence and into other aspects of life, such as "greedy" weight loss, among other ways to be greedy.<br /><br />I have made a decision to work on my propensity toward greed--and I do have much work ahead of me and not just about food.<br /><br />Almost everyone has been a glutton, even naturally thin people on special occasions. But thin folks move on and return to normal eating and drinking--they don't look back with deep regret and guilt.<br /><br />Greed, on the other hand, feels more systemic, more deeply ingrained, more, well, <em>greedy</em>.<br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Pickiness</span></strong><br /><br />Until recently, it has never occurred to me that <em>I</em> could be a picky eater, but food pickiness makes perfect sense. Why would I want to spend a disproportionate amount of my life eating food that doesn't appeal to me? Why can't I eat the foods I like? Why must I buy into someone else's idea of what's good to eat and what's good for me? Shouldn't that decision be up to me? So what if some of my food choices seem odd and obsessive to others?<br /><br />I like artificial sweetner on my salad, and I don't like salad dressing, even full fat. I despise mayo. I eat sunflower seeds nearly every day--I look forward to that treat. I love catfish, poached in lime soda and then grilled with onions, and could eat it every day of my life (but I like other things, too, like salmon, shrimp, crab, scallops, chicken, and steak). I like fried egg whites (as a kid, I'd eat around the egg yolk). I love bing cherries, which are now $6.00 a pound (when you can find them). I love sorbet, especially papaya and pineapple, but I want it to be made with real sugar, not artificial sweetner.<br /><br />I can choose to politely refuse foods I don't like and accept (without guilt) those things that I do like, even if they are hi-cal, formerly forbidden foods, as long as I listen to my body cues and stop when I'm no longer hungry or, at least, when I think I might have had enough.<br /><br />Is that a workable plan, or what?<br /><br />Jennifer Semple Siegel<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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I live in South Central Pennsylvania, so we'll see if the actual storm matches the hype from the meteorologist.<br /><br />Speaking of wintertime events: On February 19, 1969, I was involuntarily committed to Cherokee Mental Health Institute, where I was held for two months.<br /><br />I am currently writing a memoir about that time, and in the near future, I plan to open a new blog and post select pieces of the book. But it has never been my intention for that story to migrate over to this blog. I have always felt that these were two separate events and never quite got the connection between my struggles with weight and the consequences of my "Better Living Through Chemistry" era.<br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3163/472/1600/Building_Trees_leaves_Small.jpg"></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3163/472/1600/Building_Trees_leaves_Small.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3163/472/200/Building_Trees_leaves_Small.jpg" border="0" /></a> Back track: After I graduated (1968) from high school, I left Iowa and split for California and embraced the pharmaceutical delights of the day: LSD, marijuana, and speed (bennies). My boyfriend at the time was a drug dealer and just plain bad news.<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;"><em>(Cherokee Mental Health Institute,<br />Cherokee, Iowa: August 30, 2004)</em></span><br /><br />To make a long story very short, my grandparents talked me going back to Iowa "to get my head back on straight."<br /><br />I agreed only because I wanted to be closer to Pennsylvania, where another young man lived (he later became the father of my only child, my husband, and then ex-husband). Somehow, the flawed logic of an 18-year-old girl started off a chain of complicated events that resulted in Woodbury County, Iowa, deeming me "mentally incompetent."<br /><br />I probably wouldn't have even remembered much of this time--it was rather traumatic, and I certainly spent 30+ years trying to hide that aspect of my life--but I, a confirmed packrat, kept the 90+ letters that Jeff and I exchanged during that time. The letters offer a lens into that fascinating time in history, though my heels were pretty much cooled while I was incarcerated.<br /><br />At that time, I was close to normal weight, and I actually lost a few pounds while I was at Cherokee--the food was unspeakably dreadful, such delights like green scrambled eggs having the consistency of a water-logged sponge. It's a wonder I didn't die of food poisoning.<br /><br />As I combed through my letters, I was struck by my constant references to food: meals I had to eat, meals I wished I could have eaten, noshing evening snacks on the ward, elaborate descriptions of Sunday dinners. I don't actually remember any of this obsession with food, but the letters offer irrefutable proof.<br /><br />The most interesting connection comes from my hospital records, which I requested in 2002, in the opening sentence of my mental evaluation:<br /><br /><em>Miss Semple, a slightly overweight 18 year old female, was cooperative, pleasant, rather cheerful and somewhat adolescent in manner. She wore poorly applied eye makeup which gave her a slightly unusual appearance. She responded quickly and with fairly good efficiency. Some manifest anxiety was noted in her tendency to repeat questions before answering.</em><br /><br />Isn't that amazing?<br /><br />The fact of my weight carried (excuse the pun) the weight of my evaluation, even over my "poorly applied eye makeup" (I had been crying), obvious adolescence (well, duh), and "fairly good efficiency" (scared shitless, convinced I <em>was</em> insane, and trying not to be "found out").<br /><br />The-girl-is-FAT.<br /><br />Talk about a major strike against me.<br /><br />Fortunately, I was eventually able to con my way out of the institution. In the end, my doctor proved to be a good guy, funny, and compassionate. But he was a product of a culture that defined women by their bodily shape, and I was not only a druggie, but I had made the egregious blunder of being chunky (opposed to being Twiggy-esque, a popular stick-thin model).<br />I don't think that attitude has changed too much.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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(What were they thinking, anyway?)<br /><br />I don't remember much about posing, just repacking the outfit, bundling up again, and going home. I don't know why that day was so memorable--maybe it was the last time I felt special in my own family.<br /><br />As a teenager, I used to study this picture, envying my early childhood skinniness. How pathetic is that?<br /><br />In 2005, that photograph represents a time in my life when eating had no warped issues attached to it, and the tiny body mirrored back to me reflects that simple time.<br /><br />I was skinny up until about age six, when I became a little chunky. Not fat, mind you. But I remember my mom's and grandmother's alarmed conversations about my fat. Never mind that Mom had a serious drinking problem (among other problems).<br /><br />In our family, a fat child was an unacceptable commodity; alcoholism was the norm--at least that was my perception.<br /><br />When I was eight, the family rallied around my weight problem, hiding food from me. I rebelled by stashing food all over the place. I spent my allowance money on snacks instead of cheap toys. To this day, I can remember the junk food I bought, stashed, and ate in secret:<br /><ul><li>1 Packet of Grape Lick-em Aid powder (which I ate instead of mixing as a drink) (2 cents) </li><li>2 Orange gumballs (1 cent each)</li><li>1 Grape gumball (1 cent)</li><li>1 Reese's Peanut Butter Cup (5 cents)</li><li>1 Mallow Cup (5 cents)</li><li>1 Cherry Bing (a Sioux City candy bar with a cherry nougat center, coated in chocolate and peanuts--still a local favorite) (5 cents)</li><li>1 package of sunflower seeds, still in the shell and salted (5 cents)</li><li>5 pieces of cinnamon Jolly Rancher hard candy (5 cents)</li></ul><p>Quite a bit of junk for 30 cents. It's no accident that sunflower seeds have made my top ten list of favorite foods, but my tastes have matured, and I now prefer them shelled and unsalted. </p><p>I even developed a hierarchy of how the foods were to be eaten, starting with the Lick-em Aid. It was sweet and tarty, so it had to be consumed first. Then I chewed one of the orange gumballs, until all the sugar was gone, and then I'd spit it out, and pop in the grape gumball, and continue with the second orange gumball. I pretty much stuck with the order noted as above. </p><p>Why? Who knows...? At the time it seemed important to establish a binge routine. </p><p>My grandmother spent a lot of energy trying to root out my stash, but most of the time I ate it before she could get her hands on it.</p><p>Food was so important that I, a Catholic girl, once considered selling my soul to the devil just so I could eat all the peanut butter cups I wanted without getting fat, but I stopped short of actually conjuring up the Prince of Darkness.</p><p>I was nine.</p><p>Had I known about purging to stay thin, I probably would have done it. Beats selling one's soul for such a pittance.</p><p>When I went on my first diet, I was eight. By the time I was nine, I was popping little pink pills that killed my appetite, but they made me crawl the walls, so our family doctor prescribed sleeping pills so I could sleep at night. I hated them because I felt stupid on them, so I would pretend to take them but then spit them out when my grandmother turned out the lights. No one could figure out why I was still bouncing off the walls.</p><p>When I was 10, the doctor decided that I needed thyroid pills; it was a little gray pill that tasted sweet, so I chewed it like food--I took these pills for years. (Turns out that my thyroid has always been perfectly normal.)</p><p>By the time I was 11, no one had to tell me to diet; I was doing it on my own, happily scarfing down those pink and gray pills and alternating between bingeing and fasting--either on a diet or on a binge. No middle ground.</p><p>The teenage years. I was totally out of whack; I had lost the ability to discern hunger, a problem that has dogged me ever since. I'm just now <em>beginning</em> to sense my hunger and satiety cues, but it's still an uncertain process that will take time before becoming second nature.</p><p>Anyone who says this process is a quick fix is in denial.</p><p>My short story "Are You EVER Going to be Thin?" is a fictional representation of how my family handled my "weight problem." The story is companion piece to my essay "Are You Thin Yet?" posted earlier on this blog. If you're interested in reading the piece, here's the link: </p><p><a href="http://jennifersemplesiegel.com/Jennifer_page4.html">http://jennifersemplesiegel.com/Jennifer_page4.html</a></p><p>Anyway, I'm going to try posting this photo on the first page of this blog. I think it's small enough. </p><p>I want people to know that we don't start out life as fat people--for some of us, something happens along the way, and our bodies begin to betray us. </p><p>'Til next time,</p><p>Jennifer Semple Siegel </p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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I do recommend the book, which can be ordered at <a href="http://www.betterwaypress.com">www.betterwaypress.com</a> or at Amazon.<br /><br />I don't normally hawk products (other than what adsense sends my way, and even then, I have the option of filtering out companies that I find dishonest and immoral like a certain vanity poetry publisher, which shall remain unnamed), but this book is important to people who want to consider non-dieting as a life choice. There are other good self-help books out there, but this one especially resonates for me, at least so far, because Linda does not anoint herself as some all-knowing and almighty diet guru. She simply states what works for her, and asks her readers to trust her enough to read the entire book all the way through and then take what we need from it. That's a fair expectation.<br /><br />Ironically, from what I can gather, Linda is a thin person; I never thought a thin person could ever give good advice to fat people, but I'm coming to realize that our issues are not all that far apart. She has never indicated that she's a natural thin person, but has admitted to having an exercise addiction. And in my book, an addiction is an addiction.<br /><br />Also, I have been reading and posting at Linda's Yahoo! support group for non-dieters. It's a lively site with good people posting their greatest triumphs and worst fears. And, in a cyberspace sort of way, we help support one another.<br /><br />A few days ago, on December 4, I celebrated a four-month anniversary. Actually, I didn't celebrate anything; I forgot about the anniversary and just thought of it now.<br /><br />On August 4, after returning from Macedonia and Sioux City, Iowa (where I was born and raised), I decided to go on a diet. I was 207 pounds (I'm only 5'3 3/4), so the enterprise was sort undertaken under duress. All the bad gastro problems, night sweats, and heavy snoring dominated my life; also, I could barely get in my "fat" shorts, and I felt uncomfortable in a body that was increasingly feeling awkward and bloated.<br /><br />I dreaded the whole process, but I gritted my teeth, and started my umteenth diet. If you wish to read about what happened after that, feel free to read my past posts: "A New Life Journey" (11/7), "The Epiphany: The Lottery Ticket" (11/7), "The Epiphany: The Lottery Ticket, Revisited" (11/16).<br /><br />Suffice to say, I gave up the diet plan. Three weeks after my resolve, I binged and pretty much gave up, period.<br /><br />Then I dug out a book, criticizing the commercial diet industry as a cartel of money-grubbing con artists who played on the fears and dreams of the overweight, bought over 10 years ago and found a "diet" idea that could actually work: making a list of my 10 favorite foods and incorporating them into my daily diet.<br /><br />A light bulb moment.<br /><br />Before then, it had never occurred to me that a "diet" could contain my favorite foods, <em>unless</em> they were nutritious and low cal. Taste didn't matter a whole lot, just that certain foods equaled weight loss.<br /><br />In one "aha" moment, my whole concept about weight loss shattered. I started weaving in some of my favorite foods, but, in the end, I was still on a diet of sorts.<br /><br />On November 9, driving home from class, I heard an NPR interview with the authors of <em>Hungry Planet: What the World Eats</em>. Something caught my ear: an Okinawan cultural practice called <em>hara hachi bu</em>--eating until you're 80% full.<br /><br />That was my W.O.W. (Way Over Wonderful) moment.<br /><br />Shortly after that, I googled <em>hara hachi bu</em>, and found dietsurvivors.<br /><br />Now I'm at the point where I need to develop my own life plan, based on my personal needs and preferences, a plan that I can work with for the rest of my life.<br /><br />I have come up with a working outline for my own non-dieting plan: S.C.A.N.T.<br /><br />So Iwould like to share my ideas with anyone who might be interested. Keep in mind, though, that this is <em>my</em> plan. It might not work for everyone or anyone (but me, and, from time to time, I might have to revise).<br /><br />S.C.A.N.T. is an acronym:<br /><br /><strong>S</strong> = <strong>Sustainability and simplicity</strong>. My plan has to work for the long, long haul, and it has to be simple. I'm the family cook who hates to cook, so my plan has to be devoid of complicated and fussy recipes.<br /><br /><strong>C</strong> = <strong>Culling and cutting. </strong>Like most other cultures already do, I'll eat only the <em>amount</em> of food I <em>really</em> need to survive, and consciously develop finicky eating habits, declining food I don't really like and/or want.<br /><br /><strong>A</strong> = <strong>Activity.</strong> (I'm still working on this, but I refuse to allow organized exercise to take over my life--it has in the past. On the other hand, my body does require more activity than it currently gets. Did I say I was perfect? Oops.).<br /><br /><strong>N =</strong> <strong>Nutrition.</strong> Given the limited amount of food in my plan, I have to pay special attention to basic nutrition, especially at my age. In my case, that means vitamins and calcium supplements; that way, I can avoid eating foods and liquids I dislike, such as most milk products.<br /><br /><strong>T = Taste.</strong> My diet must be filled with tasty foods I like, and every food in my list of favorites should be legalized, even high fat and low nutrition items. I must recognize that eating does not just involve fulfilling physiological needs but, also, psychological and social needs.<br /><br />So, for now, that's about it.<br /><br />Later, I will devote individual posts to each aspect of S.C.A.N.T.<br /><br />But, for now, I <em>am</em> the gal from S.C.A.N.T.<br /><br />I would be interested in hearing your thoughts!<br /><br />Cheers!<br /><br />Jennifer Semple Siegel<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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December 3, 2004)</em><br /></div><p><br /></p><p></p><p>Son: Are you still awake?<br /><br />Mother: Yes.<br /><br />Son: Wow, it’s late there.<br /><br />Son: We’re home from the hospital.<br /><br />Mother: Can’t sleep.<br /><br />Mother: I figured you were still at the hospital.<br /><br />Son: We got back about a half hour ago.<br /><br />Mother: How is Rhia adjusting to being in this world?<br /><br />Son: Just fine...She’s still asleep in her car seat.<br /><br />Son: She’s making faces, so she must be kind of awake.<br /><br />Mother: Maybe you’ll luck out and have a baby who sleeps through the night.<br /><br />Son: Maybe. She’s very laid back and happy.<br /><br />Mother: The pics are absolutely adorable.<br /><br />Mother: She looks like you at that age. Do you think she’s going to have brown eyes?<br /><br />Son: I was tired when I did them–she weighed 8.6, as the scale showed, not 8.4 as I wrote in the e-mail.<br /><br />Son: I don’t know if her eyes will be brown.<br /><br />Son: Hard to tell yet.<br /><br />Mother: They look brown already.<br /><br />Son: They are gray right now.<br /><br />Mother: But that might be the lighting.<br /><br />Mother: I just want to hug her.<br /><br />Mother: She’s kind of roly-poly–comes by it honestly. Hehehehe.<br /><br />Mother: I’m looking at her pic now–ran some off the computer. I just want to reach and pull her out.<br /><br />Son: Yes...she is cute, although she’s pooping as we speak.<br /><br />Mother: Hehehehe. Babies do that.<br /><br />Son: PJ says she’s making a present for Daddy.<br /><br />Mother: Oh, Boy! Just being a daddy’s girl.<br /><br />Son: Hehehe.<br /><br />Mother: Has your dad seen her yet?<br /><br />Son: Oh, yes. We had to pry her out of his hands...<br /><br />Mother: Hardy, har, har! Told ya!<br /><br />Son: He came to the hospital last night...with Grandma and Grandpa.<br /><br />Mother: I figured that there would be a trail of relatives–Beam me across the ocean, Scotty!<br /><br />Son: Hehe.<br /></p><div align="center"><br />[Pause]</div><br />Mother: How is PJ holding up?<br /><br />Mother: After all, she did all the hard work.<br /><br />Mother: Though she looked pretty lively in later pics.<br /><br />Son: She’s doing well.<br /><br />Mother: Good–while we’re all going goo-goo eyed over sweet Rhia, we don’t want to forget who did all the hard work.<br /><br />Mother: Way to go, PJ!<br /><br />Son: No pain medication for the birth process.<br /><br />Son: She’s a tough girl.<br /><br />Mother: I’m impressed! I asked for every pain medication on the market. Coward, I!<br /><div align="center"><br />[Long pause]</div><br />Son: Sorry, we changed her diaper; now PJ is feeding her.<br /><br />Mother: She wasn’t in a hurry to greet this world, but it sounds as though she has embraced it fully.<br /><br />Son: She poops, and then decides she’s starving, so she’s upset during the diaper change cause she wants to eat.<br /><br />Mother: Good sign.<br /><br />Mother: A robust, baby girl and a healthy appetite.<br /><div align="center"><br />[Pause]</div><br />Mother: I’ll bet Amy and Jenn are excited–they sure looked happy in the pics.<br /><br />Son: Yes, we stopped by their grandma’s house on the way home so that they could see her again.<br /><br />Mother: The thing about babies–they seem to come with a lot of promise and potential. You and PJ will help her realize that. I have great faith in your abilities there.<br /><br />Son: Thanks!<br /><br />Son: She’s peacefully eating now.<br /><br />Mother: I can almost visualize that tableau. Sigh.................<br /><br />Mother: Your grandmother was describing how thrilled you are, and what Rhia means to you. I’m glad that PJ’s ex-mother-in-law is so understanding.<br /><br />Son: Yes, she is wonderful :-)<br /><br />Mother: That’s SO cool. It could have been otherwise.<br /><br />Son: One look at her, and I was hooked.<br /><br />Mother: Yes, I can see that–I think, though, that you were hooked the minute you found out you were going to be a daddy.<br /><br />Mother: And you didn’t pass out at the birth....<br /><br />Son: No, it was quite an experience.<br /><br />Mother: Wow–back in the states, I’d watch those maternity ward shows on Lifetime–and it was something else.<br /><br />Son: PJ and the doctor said I was good while she was in labor.<br /><br />Mother: I can see that.<br /><br />Mother: I was definitely there in spirit–I thought about you all day, even though we spent half the day chasing after our [residence] visa. Grrrrr.<br /><br />Son: Rhia doesn’t seem to like eating for a long period of time...just a little bit at a time.<br /><br />Son: Now she’s eating again.<br /><br />Mother: That’s normal–You’d drink one or two ounces, and then you’d stop, only to be hungry again in an hour or two–<br /><br />Mother: –Babies need to contemplate–drink in the world. Everything’s so new and bright after the wet, warm darkness of the womb.<br /><br />Son: Yes, I suppose so.<br /><br />Mother: The sensory experience for newborns must be absolutely overwhelming.<br /><br />Son: Yes, that one picture was really when she opened her eyes for the first time.<br /><br />Son: She looked like she was trying to open her eyes, then she opened them.<br /><br />Mother: Wow, I can only imagine how that must have been for her...<br /><br />Mother: One of the pics I printed out was that first one with her eyes open.<br /><div align="center"><br />[Pause]</div><br />Mother: I’m going to be an obnoxious grandma–everyone who comes through these doors MUST look at her pics.<br /><br />Mother: I wanted to post a birth announcement on the door, but Jerry wouldn’t let me. I even printed her name in Cyrillic.<br /><br />Mother: I’ll e-mail you her name in Cyrillic–it’s pretty.<br /><br />Son: Okay.<br /><br />Son: She is a cutie, though–<br /><br />Mother: What is her voice like?<br /><br />Son: –Like all the women in my house. How lucky am I?<br /><br />Mother: You are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO lucky!<br /><br />Son: She makes a lot of little sounds, some of which sound like words–<br /><br />Mother: All those wild women–hehehehe–<br /><br />Mother: OOOOhhh, a smartie; she’ll be reading by next week.<br /><br />Son: Maybe!<br /><br />Son: :-)<br /><br />Mother: We’ll have to send her to college at six months.<br /><br />Mother: But she won’t be allowed to drive until her feet can reach the pedals.<br /><br />Son: She needs something to do whilst soiling her diaper–reading will work nicely.<br /><br />Mother: Again? Super-pooper?<br /><br />Son: She is related to us, after all.<br /><br />Mother: Hehehehe.<br /><br />Son: No, not now–<br /><br />Son: –still eating.<br /><br />Mother: She could be related to Jerry–ha.<br /><br />Mother: PhD by age three...<br /><br />Son: I’d better go, but we’ll have to chat soon.<br /><br />Mother: Okay, I’m getting tired.<br /><br />Son: Sleep tight.<br /><br />Son: Bye!<br /><br />Mother: Priedno!<br /><br />Mother: Bye!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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And she had answered their siren calls, sometimes three and four times a day.<br /><br />Eventually, she was fired from her sales job, which required extensive travel; she could no longer fit into an airline seat.<br /><br />"I’m sorry, Becca," Ms. Atropos, her boss and third sniping siren, had said. "We can’t afford to pay double for your travel."<br /><br />Becca knew the real reason: although her sales outpaced everyone else’s, she didn’t fit the corporate image.<br /><br />She consulted a lawyer, who said that overweight people had little legal recourse.<br /><br />It didn’t matter anyway; she could no longer navigate herself and luggage through airports and security--a total nightmare, especially that last time, shortly after 9/11, when she was ordered to strip for a complete body search: strange women lifting and prodding her fat rolls. She was sure their interest was less about finding bombs and more about prurient curiosity and poking fun; the guards’ averted eyes revealed what would happen once she departed.<br /><br />One year later, on a crisp, autumn day--brilliant blue sky and crimson leaves--Becca almost moved in with her mother and aunt. They carried her meager possessions into her childhood bedroom, now outfitted with a bed made of reinforced steel, guaranteed to hold 1,000 pounds.<br />Becca, only 37 and now using a cane, struggled up the sidewalk; the wind whipped around, red and yellow leaves swirling, a mini-twister surrounding her. She couldn’t walk more than 25 feet without stopping to catch her breath.<br /><br />No one helped her.<br /><br />She sweated profusely, snowflakes sizzling on her face.<br /><br />When Becca finally stepped through the doorway, widened for her girth, she plopped into the nearest chair, which collapsed under her, breaking into pieces. Falling to the floor, she twisted her left arm, pain shooting through her like a bullet.<br /><br />An ambulance was called; as the siren drew near, she blacked out...<br /><br /><em>...Light as a snowflake, Becca sees a light on the white hill and follows it, glistening snow marred only by the swirling leaves encircling her, autumn slipping into winter--though autumn will not disappear without a struggle.</em><br /><br /><em>Becca drifts in front of a snow-covered gravestone...</em><br /><br /><em>She can’t dwell on the ensuing tempest--only moments to decipher the etchings on the gravestone, she envisions a name she knows too well...</em><br /><br />..."Her heart stopped," a distant voice said. "We almost lost her."<br /><br />Becca was in the hospital for a month with a torn arm muscle surrounded by inflamed fat, which, her specialist explained, would most likely die off and need to be removed. While convalescing, she vowed to do something, anything, to help herself, but, most importantly, get away from her mother and aunt--<br /><br />--To reclaim life on her own terms.<br /><br />Her family doctor arranged for admittance to a clinic in Ohio for the morbidly obese. On arrival, she weighed 712 pounds.<br /><br />"I don’t want weight-loss surgery," Becca said to Dr. Miranda Bonita, an obesity specialist.<br /><br />"No need. We have safer treatments," the doctor said.<br /><br />Dr. Sebastian, Becca’s psychotherapist, tried to convince her that her obesity probably had a genetic component and wasn’t her fault.<br /><br />"People in third-world countries aren’t obese," Becca said.<br /><br />"True," Dr. Sebastian said. "Though if they had a steady supply of food, you’d see obesity in those places, too. I honestly believe your metabolism’s out of whack; that would explain your excessive weight gain."<br /><br />Becca knew better; she remembered the binges. Average day’s gorge: a pound of bacon; six eggs, fried in bacon grease; eight slices of toast; pancakes slathered with butter and syrup; home fries; three greasy Big Macs, each with super-sized fries; two pounds of ribs; a pound of fried shrimp; a gallon of Chubby Hubby ice cream; and a bucket of popcorn saturated with a stick of butter.<br /><br />She took full responsibility for her weight, and eventually forgave herself.<br /><br />In her first year at the clinic, Becca lost, through diet, mild exercise, and psychotherapy, more than 300 pounds. She now weighed 384 and could walk, without becoming winded, up and down the hall, sometimes without her cane. She became an ambassador, a cheerful one-person welcoming committee for new residents, who loved her. They elected her president of the Residents’ Board.<br /><br />As she grew thinner, though, the flesh on her injured arm ballooned. Instead of dying off as predicted, the inflamed flesh healed and, for unknown reasons, swelled, doubling in size. The flesh from her forearm hung down, covering her fingers with a flap of skin.<br />Dr. Bonita recommended a risky surgery to remove about 15 pounds from that arm.<br /><div align="center"><br />* * * * *</div><div align="center"> </div>"We talked about this," Dr. Bonita said to Mrs. Prospero. "Becca’s problem is most likely not her fault."<br /><br />She explained, for the umpteenth time, how little science understood about metabolism and its effects on body weight, that, yes, Becca may have triggered an existing genetic condition by overeating, but perhaps she over ate because of a faulty appestat.<br /><br />"No one knows, so why not offer her the benefit of the doubt?"<br /><br />Becca opened her eyes, her left arm wrapped in bandages.<br /><br />Her mother was shaking her head.<br /><br /><em>You’ll see!</em><br /><br />Becca Prospero’s guilt and anguish were over, even if she never lost another ounce.<br /><br />Sirens howled in the background.<br /><br />________________________<br /><br /><div align="center">Copyright, Jennifer Semple Siegel (October 22, 2005)</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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</script></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7568018.post-1133574936188870462005-12-02T17:45:00.000-08:002005-12-02T17:55:36.200-08:00Hara hachi bu again and thoughts on discriminationI first heard about <em>hara hachi bu</em> on NPR (last month), and something about it just clicked and resonated with me. So I bought the book <em>Hungry Planet: What the World Eats</em>. I have been sampling this volume (obviously a coffee table book, but one I'm actually reading!). In Okinawa, people (especially older people) practice <em>hara hachi bu</em> daily, which means they stop eating when they're 80% full. They had been taught from childhood to practice this at every meal, and it's so rooted in their culture that to overeat seems almost taboo. Of course, we don't have these kinds of social restrictions, so I'm not surprised that such a concept is not easy to practice in Western cultures, where food cues are the norm (for example, the chocolate in the break room). We, of course, can't change our culture (at least overnight), but we can try to work on how we respond to it. I agree with Linda Moran, administrator at Dietsurvivors, that if chocolate and other goodies are important, then by all means incorporate your faves into your eating. Deprivation is the bane of all diets, but I think there's a huge difference between deprivation and making informed choices about what to eat and how much to eat.<br /><br />Easier said than done, which is why striking a balance between "dieting" (at least in the classic sense of the word, which = deprivation) and learning permanent (hopefully) ways of fulfilling our need to eat on both physical and psychological levels, while at the same taking care of our bodies, is so difficult. And this is a very personal matter, based on physiological and psychological needs.<br /><br />I AM discovering that, for me, "legalizing" all the foods I love has stripped the power they have had over me; I thought for sure I'd go over the cliff every single day, run to Dairy Queen two-three times a week for a Moolatte. But it hasn't happened. I LOVE Moolattes, but, evidently, not enough to work them in regularly, even though I KNOW I could jump into my car and get one right now.<br /><br />I sincerely believe that our culture of abundance has negatively impacted several generations of Americans; my boomer generation started feeling the side effects in earnest, especially as they started aging (I was a chubby child, so I have felt this nearly all my life). Our bodies are out of whack, our sugar levels running wild--when I was growing up, diabetes was rare, type II almost unheard of.<br /><br />The diet industry is getting fat with wealth, and we are staying fat despite all their promises and claims. Never mind the mixed message we are bombarded with: today, I had lunch at a strip-mall Chinese restaurant; next door is a Curves; next to that is a Steak place, and next to that is Weight Watchers; and next door is a sub place. A symbolic (and real) commentary on the state of our mixed-up food culture.<br /><br />Finally, the U.S. is waking up to the issue, but, then, they want to point the blame at the very people who are struggling, a "blame the victim" mentality. The message: "Get off your fat asses and do something about it."<br /><br />Yeah, right.<br /><br />Try telling a cancer patient to "Get off your diseased ass and do something about it." The overweight are methodically and purposely targeted for heinous acts of discrimination, covert and overt. Did anyone happen to catch last week, on <em>ET</em>, the skinny woman who donned a fat suit and went undercover and recorded people's reactions to her "350 lb. body"? She was shocked at how people treated and reacted to her, and not only behind her back. Well, duh. She's just discovering what we have known all along. The way people treated her made her cry, but, at the end of the day, she could remove her fat suit and move on as a thin person. Still, I appreciate her efforts because at least she's TRYING to walk in our shoes and expose these "hateful" reactions to the overweight.<br /><br />Our culture needs to change the way it feels about us, and if that means federal legislation prohibiting discrimination against the overweight, then it should be done. In Pennsylvania (where I live), an employer can fire an overweight person just for that reason, and that stinks.<br /><br />Back in the late 80's, I thought our country was headed in the right direction regarding the treatment of the overweight, but we have backlashed, even as our population grows heavier. One airline (which will remain unnamed because I don't want to risk giving them publicity) actually charges some overweight people double fares.<br /><br />I'm getting tired of Jay Leno's jokes about the overweight--they are NOT funny at all, just like the Steppin' Fetchin' black stereotypes weren't funny back in the 30's, 40's, and 50's. I would say this to Mr. Leno's face: fire your writers and find some REAL jokes. Poking fun at people who struggle daily is cruel and reveals more negativity about YOU (Leno) than it does about your intended target.<br /><br />To wrap up: we experience many of our problems because of the way we are NOT accepted by our culture, and it does matter if we have to keep "apologizing" (albeit in subtle ways) for our size. If we could move about freely, without fear of being poked fun at (once, about 10 years ago, some kids at the mall shot rubber bands at me) or discriminated against, I sincerely believe it would be easier to move on and really do the important work of caring for our bodies and NOT feel in a rush to lose weight fast--I think that, more than anything, our shame drives us to these crazy diet programs and bariatric surgeries (which may be medically necessary for some people).<br /><br />Perhaps if we were more relaxed in our own skins, we could just move on, and groups like dietsurvivors would become obsolete.<br /><br />I guess I have rambled, but, somehow, writing about this stuff helps me, and maybe something I say will help someone else.<br /><br />I'm not doing this for the money (despite the ads); I made .03 cents last month! (Woo! Hoo!).<br /><br />Jennifer Semple Siegel<br /><br />NOTE: I posted a version of the above on Dietsurvivors.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript"><!--
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